Fantasy Funkhouser: Yeah, About That ...2013 Q1 Edition

Don't hate me, Manny. (USAT)

Fantasy Funkhouser will review all things Fantasy Baseball. After all, life is a small sample size.

The quarter point of the baseball season is here, and that gives us enough time to reflect back and see what's really going on in the world of Major League Baseball. Sure, the injury bug seems to be running rampant over the first quarter and there does seem to be a large percentage of players playing way above their pay grade (eh, Jean Segura?). But a quarter of a season does not a baseball season make. Some players will slump and others will rise, but there are some players that have jumped out at me that I didn't expect to at all.

I'm going to list some players that are exceeding my expectations, and I expect them to keep going. I did throw together some fantasy crush picks back in March, and some are looking pretty, preeetty, preeeeettttay good so far. But I'm not just going to rehash the players I missed (although looking back, I do regret not expanding it to all players so I could present my love for some higher ranked players I had tagged early on, like Paul Goldschmidt). Onward!

Manny Machado, 3B - Orioles

Not that anyone didn't expect Machado to be good. He's bred to be a superstar. But that he's this good already is shocking. The Macho Man has 23 XBH, .920 OPS, and plays gold glove defense just for fun. I had him moving along at this pace early in 2014, not right now. His 2012 was solid, but there have been no signs of a slump for Manny. He's a star for years to come.

Carlos Gomez, OF - Brewers

Carlos won't be keeping up his .365 AVG, but everything else is for real. The power, the speed, the increased walk rate. Everything is in line for Gomez to build off his post-sleeper break out last year. Yes, I was a member of the Carlos Gomez fan club last year, but my faith waivered heading into 2013. With his deserved ranking, I was just too nervous to invest in Gomez. I hit pay dirt last year, why not get up from the blackjack table, cash out, smoke a cigar, and let the wonderful memory that was the 2nd half of 2012 remain? Well, this is why.

Justin Morneau, 1B - Twins

The one-time MVP of the AL, Morneau has battled a lot of injuries over the past couple of years. I was happy to drive his fantasy self to the local dump and dispose of the body. Thus far in 2013 though, he's been showing flashes of the old Morneau. Healthy and confident, Morneau leads the team in RBIs and is batting over .300. While his slash line matches up with what he did in 2012 (134 games, 19 HR, 77 RBI) - if he can stay health he can get to 100 RBI. The power is just something that will never be back, but in the wasteland that is 1B, Morneau is looking ready for a bounce back.

Ike Davis, 1B - Mets

Speaking of horrible 1B - it's not all roses for predicting fantasy baseball. I listened to what the other experts said about Ike coming into the year. His strong finish to 2012, the quietest 30 HR you'll ever find, his health coming into the season that will lead to great things. Well, he's as horrible as ever. Delivering a line that if he keeps up for 3 more weeks, will likely see him in the minors. Last year Davis put up similarly horrid numbers, then turned it around on Memorial Day. He's worth keeping an eye on to see if history repeats, but Davis is looking like a complete wash out.

Carl Crawford, OF - Dodgers

Kudos for Crawford for finding health and peace of mind in LA. Few others have. Early favorite along with Justin Upton for the Change of Scenery Award, Crawford has rediscovered himself after a miserable stretch in Boston where health and happiness were not easily found. He's off to a great start, and while he will need to be rested every now and again, he's running and being productive atop a weak Dodgers line-up.

Pitching, by and large, has been a disaster. I'm not sure if I dodged a bullet with my picks or what, but there's very little to report from a disappointment standpoint. I still thought Stephen Strasburg was overrated for this season, I loved Yu Darvish, and who could have guessed that proven stars like David Price, Cole Hamels, Matt Cain, and Yovani Gallardo would go in the tank. If I had to pick one major disappointment, it'd be Roy Halladay. Beating yourself up over injuries is never a good way to go through life, but with Halladay, I wanted to believe he'd be fine just because he's Doc. After admiring him north of the border in Canada and when my Phillies acquired him, I couldn't have asked for a better baseball experience. He's the best pitcher of a generation, and I'd hate to see his career come to a close like this. But history says it will. Sure, he might come back, pitch for some completely weird team like the San Diego Padres, but it won't be the same.

SOME LATE ENTRIES

Willin Rosario - C, Rockies

With Rosario, I was nervous about his propensity to strike out often, and along with his below average defense, a road to the bench or even AAA crossed my mind. Well, the defense might not have gotten any better, but his 8 HR and 3 SB are music to an owner's ears. Sure he's come down off his astronomical start, but that'll happen with a streak-ish player like the Baby Bull. Coors helps anyone, but it's not as apparent for Rosario who is actually only carrying a .664 OPS at Coors compared to mashing at a .960 clip on the road. Both will even out to a certain extent, but the moral of this tale is that the end product is a great offensive catcher.

Anibal Sanchez, SP - Tigers

Sanchez always had the potential to be special. He appears to have gotten past the injuries that slowed him early in his career, but I always thought he was just one of those guys that had the stuff, but would never figure things out. A thrower, not a pitcher - as the derisive crowd would say. After a strong playoffs, Sanchez has apparently figured things out. His K% and velocity is up, and with a porous defense behind him, he is still operating with a fantastic 1.45 FIP, which is tops in baseball.

The Funkman says: "Look at this guy! He drafted Ike Davis in the 10th round!"

Fantasy Funkhouser: Platooning Isn't Just for the Super Rich Anymore, You Can Do it Too!

Have a day, Brandon Moss! (newswhip.com)

Fantasy Funkhouser will review all things Fantasy Baseball. After all, life is a small sample size.

May is over, and while you shouldn't be panicking about your fantasy team, it's inevitable that on one squad or another, there's cause for concern. While there are a plethora of things that might be ailing your team, let's say you find yourself struggling at first base. The talent at 1B is soooo deep this year ... you heard. If you can't get Prince Fielder or Joey Votto feel free to wait and wait some more. Sure you could have nabbed Allen Craig later than those guys ... the same Craig who hasn't hit a home run yet (and yes I linked to that to show you I picked Chris Davis as a sleepy pick at 1B). Yeesh. 

Needless to say that depth at 1B so far hasn't materialized. A couple of the top guys are right where they belong, but those middle tier/proven veteran guys that are supposed to take a leap/remain consistent have stalled at the gate.

Had your fill of Ike Davis, wondering if Paul Konerko's battle with father time is up, or if you realize that Freddie Freeman can be just as brilliant as he is frustrating, there's answer to your problems. It's platooning. 

Yes, platooning has carried a negative stigma around for quite some time. When a baseball team platoons a position, it's like having two goalies in net ... it basically means you have no one. In this new baseball day and age though, platooning has been used by ball clubs on the cheap to essentially create a well above average player by exploiting match-ups. With the increased dominance of pitching these days, those middle to bottom rung guys might have been able to get by, but if you're Ike Davis and can't hit a lefty (or at this point anyone) then as the game moved into the later innings, there's a lefty coming out of the pen that throws 95 mph and the rest of Davis' night is basically toast - let alone when he's matched up against a Cliff Lee type. You might as well kneel at the alter and pray for at least one base hit.

Now, teams like the A's, Pirates, Yankees, and Red Sox have used platooning to cover up some nasty holes in their line-up. It's added real life value to the Daniel Navas and Travis Hafners of the world. Well, in fantasy players like this are readily available for mass consumption. 

Let's take a look at two failing 3'ers this year. Allen Craig and Paul Konerko. Both were ranked in the top 100 in Yahoo! standard leagues, so if you did draft both of these guys, you were pretty aggressive diving into the first base pool.

As of today's date, their lines are: 

Player	AB	AVG	R	HR	RBI	SB
Allen Craig	103	0.262	11	0	20	0
Paul Konerko	97	0.227	10	4	15	0
Average	100	0.245	10.5	2	17.5	0
Per AB Average	1	N/A	0.105	0.02	0.175	0

Not great. Now maybe you're playing just one of these guys, but odds are you've been hoping for both of them to turn it around in your 1B and CI or UTIL spot. While I certainly wouldn't cut bait on Craig, let's say Paulie just isn't doing it for you anymore. Dump him if you like, as I have no idea what his trade value is unless there's another 1B depressed owner in your league.

It'll take up another roster spot, but if you added two much more available guys like Brandon Moss (57% owned) and Kendrys Morales (48% owned) and played them only when the match-ups favored them (Moss v. RHP; Morales v. LHP) what kind of production would you get?

Player	AB	AVG	R	HR	RBI	SB
Brandon Moss (v. RHP)	66	0.303	N/A	4	14	1
Kendrys Morales (v. LHP)	40	0.275	N/A	2	5	0
Total	106	0.289	N/A	6	19	1
Per AB Average	1	N/A	N/A	0.057	0.179	0.009

On a per at bat average, these two players, when platooned, provide better production out at 1B than Craig and Konerko. The output on Moss' end vastly surpasses Morales', however, there's a decent likelihood there's already someone on your roster that can bash against southpaws better than Morales anyway. Of course, this is a SSS and Moss is coming off of a nice run, but this is something that Moss did last year as well on his way to 21 homers. His slash line last year against northpaws was .290/.363/.643 - that's a 1.000+ OPS.

Certainly, this strategy is more geared towards daily leagues, but it is a viable option to find a cheap way to kick start certain positions. By certain positions, I mean largely 1B and OF as they have the more flexible player options, and power at those positions are more easily projected than say average or speed categories.

Do what you will, but this is a simple option that could lead to some significantly sneaky production.

The Funkman says: Kendrys Morales? You can't be serious.

Slobblog: The Farmers' Cabinet - The Slob Identity

What is the Slob Identity?

While what Slobfest is can be found here, an interesting question that many may be asking is what makes us Slobs slobs? Well, we all have our own distinct personalties that overlaps with common interests. Some of the more obvious similarities are slobbing out by eating a lot of food, being an asshole, and not going out of our way to humiliate each other in public places. We also identify ourselves as fathers, brothers, husbands, boyfriends, sports fans, gamers, know-it-alls, and sarcastic SOB's. A lot of different things make up a Slob, but in reality that's what makes us all enjoy each other's company.

If a restaurant could in and of itself be complex and diverse and ... interesting; would it work? Well, The Farmers' Cabinet attempts to answer that question.

From the time you walk through the small entrance or wide open floor to ceiling doors (if the weather is warm) you're not quite sure what you're getting yourself into. The spacious eatery is adorned with the drink menu on wooden panels, moose heads, and barrels of liquor (for show only, I believe). It's a lot of things all at once.

We met at the bar before heading to our table. The cocktail list is no joke in drinks or in price. Quality wise they're worth a sip or two. The Scotchman, Cortez the Killer, and The Scofflaw all greased the wheels properly for the evening. After we were hurried from our drinks by one Slob, we were seated in the main dining area.

Lots of options to choose from.

In tying with the farmers theme the tables are of the picnic variety. The tables are joined with neighboring parties and there are no back rests unless you are on the side next to the wall. The lighting is comfortably dim so even if someone is seated next to you, it doesn't feel like you're actually sitting next to them. The waitress came around and took our drink orders. At this point the Slobs switched to the beer and cider menu.

The options were a plenty, but choosing between so many was easier than it seemed. Throughout the rest of the night we dabbled all around the largely European inspired ale selection. It was much easier than say, picking the hotter version of Keri Russell: Felicity Keri or Americans Keri?

Felicity Porter

Elizabeth Jennings

As we started looking through the menu there weren't many options, but the selections under those options were copious. I mean, two separate cheese selections? Meat and sausage? It was a lot for us Slobs to take in.

Ultimately we went whole hog and did a cheese sample, meat/sausage tray, deviled eggs (2x) an Bavarian pretzels (2x).

Half of the pretzel/deviled eggs order.

The apps were good, but the food above didn't quite live up to its billing; as it was a good thing we ordered two of each.

At this point it's worth to go back and see what kind of identity the Farmers' Cabinet has. We've had Prohibition-era drinks, Belgium beer, Bavarian pretzels, and deviled eggs while seated at picnic tables. The lack of identity made for some strong hits (the drinks) and some misses (the apps). The reason restaurants are categorized by cuisine is that focusing on a certain type of food creates a better environment for the diner as well as a more clear focus on what the kitchen is looking to accomplish. The cultural melting pot that is The Farmers' Cabinet has thus far left the Slobs enjoying themselves, but not necessarily getting a fulfilling experience.

When it came to get our entrees on, the Slobs were all-in on virtually everything the menu had to offer. Smoked lamb leg, quail stuffed with duck sausage, beer braised short rib, and venison shank? I mean it's hard to go wrong with those offerings. Clearly the pea ravioli and boat scallops were put on the menu to make us Slobs chuckle or anyone that ordered those would be escorted off the premise. There's not much you could stuff in a ravioli to make in unappetizing to me, but spring peas?

Awesome cornbread entree.

We were all looking forward to our meals, but when they came out - it was something I'd never seen before anywhere. There was a component of the meal that was as large if not larger than the entree. Look at the meal above. It looks like the cornbread is the star of the show. The braised short ribs are merely a side dish along with the purple cabbage (they had a lot of purple cabbage). It was so bizarre, and despite the food being tasty really set an odd precedent for the meals.

Hope you like sweet potato mash. 

The thing was, this wasn't a one time thing. To the left is the quail stuffed with duck sausage. I mean even at Boston Market they don't portion the food this way. It left us Slobs rather baffled. Keep in mind we're a hearty eating bunch. When we order a quail stuffed with duck sausage, we basically picture a Thanksgiving turkey in our minds.

To me it spoke to the inability of Farmers' Cabinet to just pick a side and go with it. If you want to be a rustic type farmers' market set up, then give me a big plate of hearty food. If you want to be a speakeasy, then focus on the drinks and have some bar food/snacks as the theme of your menu. If you want to be a European beer hall, then set up your restaurant to have that kind of feel. Give me St. Paulie girls and big steins of beer. All in all, it turns out in this instance that a restaurants identity is better when it's basic and straightforward. Did the chef think, hey maybe he diners will be filled up on deviled eggs and an assortment of pickled products we offer. Maybe if they stuck to a game plan, they'd be able to better execute across the board. Farmers' Cabinet has numerous highlights but it mostly gets lost in the murky gray area they try to live in.

Then to further confuse everyone, an old-timey piano player started playing in the main dining area. He was fully dressed to the period, pounding on those keys, and singing in his old-timey way. Of course, we had no choice but to deconstruct his life and wonder how miserable he must be. What must drive a man to play for tips at Farmers' Cabinet in full regalia? What a dark, sad life he must lead.

We did make it to dessert with some room left in our stomachs. We all agreed that while the proportions were off, we were all pretty satisfied. Sadly, the dessert menu only consisted of a few items prompting all of us to order the chocolate bread pudding. Shockingly, there wasn't any strudel or whatever the hell people eat in New Zealand for dessert.

Overall, it was a fine, but less fulfilling experience. Everything was just the same mix of tasty, good, but odd and questionable. Enough to make you want to come back for drinks and maybe some charcuterie, but not for piano playing and a half pound piece of cornbread.

-Slobs out.

Farmers' Cabinet
1113 Walnut St.
Philadelphia, PA 19107
215.923.1113

Looking for a Fight: UFC 159 - Jones v. Sonnen

Jon Jones' greatest weakness has been exposed. His fight promotion. (USAT)

Sports coverage always does seem to amaze me. In a realm where there are more and more avenues for message boards, talking heads, and articles to be written to see many people that cover the UFC simply write-off Saturday night's Jon Jones v. Chael P. Sonnen fight as an afterthought is lazy and not a service to people that read their content. After all, sports in general, and especially combat sports, are built around the humongous upset. The fact that at anytime on any field, in any arena something crazy could happen. That may not mean enough to you to plop down $54.99 for a pay-per-view, but tossing $10 to the door man to have the fight on while you enjoy a microbrew at your local bar sounds fine and dandy to me.

Sure, this fight was put together from the ashes of UFC 151, and while a more credible challenger like Dan Henderson was left to marinate a little - only to lose to Lyoto Machida - leaves a bitter taste in everyone's mouth, it's easy to forget that we've been down this road before. When Sonnen took on Anderson Silva there were just as many doubters about the validity of that fight as this one. Well, Chael P. Sonnen put on an Oregon style butt whooping on Silva, until the Spider was able to wrap his legs around Sonnen and tap him out with seconds left. This was easily the best fight of 2010.

There are other factors that make the Jones' match-up different and probably a higher mountain top to ascend, but if anyone is capable of doing it and at the very least give Jones the toughest fight of his career, it's Sonnen.

The media coverage has fueled the blase fan reaction to this card. While normally the UFC can put Silva, Jones, Georges St-Pierre, or Cain Velasquez to headline a card and fill it with average fights - this time, with a fight that truly is being treated like a foregone conclusion, the card needed to be stronger. It isn't.

Where we are left is for Jones and Sonnen to hype the fight themselves. Oh, that's right, they had 15 hours of TV time on FX to do that during The Ultimate Fighter. What came from that was Jones being Jones and Chael being a great coach and mentor. However, and ironically for the betterment of the show than faking some hostilities, Jones and Sonnen seemed to get along. Jones respected Sonnen's doggedness and personality and jokes (!!); while Sonnen clearly has a lot of respect for Jones. There isn't the hostility and trash talking he's exhibited in the Silva bouts, and with Jones finally laying off the perfect guy act - is just being his normal, confident, fun loving self. This isn't to say both fighters won't put on their mean hats Saturday night, but their promotion of the fight wasn't exactly Nick Diaz-esque (again, that's probably for the betterment of everyone).

So with the trash talking/promoter belt being strapped around Diaz's waist, the UFC and the two fighters had to do something. There were rhymes by Sonnen alluding to Jones' DWI conviction. Jones saying Sonnen is a roider and not a true fighter. None of it resonated. It's clear that in all the press leading up to the fight, these two had their minds in other places.

Jones wants to win a couple more 205 title defenses to beat Tito Ortiz's record, then move on to a super fight and/or bump up to the heavyweight division (which is only logical as by the time he has his two more defenses he would have cleaned out the division and be about a year older, which will allow him to put on more weight). Sonnen isn't a legit threat to Bones, rather just another victim.

For Sonnen - he's reaping the rewards of being a self-made man. Kevin Iole mentions in his article today how Sonnen created this personality to drive his career. It's sure worked. Now moving up to 205 and taking on one of the best fighters on the planet, everything seems lined up for move to greener pastures. Should (notice I said should) Sonnen lose, then his shtick would have certainly worn thing ... still entertaining, but thin. He has a fantastic broadcast career in front of him with the UFC for sure, and UFC President Dana White hinted within the FOX family as well. Sonnen isn't a threat to Bones, rather just one more big pay day.

BREAKDOWN

While writers covering the fight could probably outline 75% of their day after articles today if they wanted, there is still the pesky matter of the fight. I'm of the persuasion where if one of the best fighters on the planet is fighting, I'm watching. I said this when Anderson Silva fought Stephan Bonnar and I say that today. I mean how much fun was that Anderson fight? Did he make it worth your money? Were you not entertained?

Sonnen is certainly more of a threat than Bonnar was to Silva, but shouldn't you expect Jones to put on a show? To leave people saying, wow this guy is talented? A couple elbows to the chiseled chin of Chael won't do that. Jones is coming, and Jones is bringing some Nike swag with him.

The most disappointing outcome of this fight would be for Jones to wrestle and hold Sonnen down. The size disadvantage is too great to have this be an exciting or interesting strategy (see, I got your back, GSP). We need some flying kicks and knees. We need something to put on that Nike commercial.

Bones has never been reckless in any fight, but he hasn't been conservative either. Sonnen won't stop moving forward, and he'll create an interesting canvas for Jones to work with.

Overall, I do think Chael will aim to impress, but without the full use of his elite wrestling it'll be tough. I just think Chael's determination will give Jones a bit more trouble than we are all expecting. However, I'm not here to act like a genius. To predict Sonnen wins so I can say I told you so. It'll be a Jones win, but I'll be tuning in to see how he does it. That ... will be exciting.

Jones 3rd Rd Submission.

Looking for a Fight: UFC on FOX: Henderson v. Melendez

What path will Daniel Cormier take? (facebook.com)

Hear that? That's the sound of another bad pun related to the Uriah Hall hype train. It was a week ago today many were wondering how Ultimate Fighter finalist would fair against Anderson Silva after he dispatched co-finalist Kevin Gastelum with some kind of highlight reel kick.

Well, that didn't happen.

Hall lost, and if he can't rebound from that, we can file him away with Todd Duffee, Brandon Schaub, Ryan Bader, Phillipe Nover, and Houston Alexander as failed next big things. Note that all but two of those fighters came from TUF. That UFC is pretty good at hyping their fighters.

The next, next big thing is chugging towards San Jose Saturday night as Daniel Cormier is set to make his UFC debut against former champ and tattoo makeover star Frank Mir.

Cormier is coming in with some different creds than his predecessors. Cormier is an Olympic wrestler, who since his jump to MMA hasn't tasted defeat. The 34 year-old is 11-0, and the winner of the inaugural Strikeforce Heavyweight Grad Prix where he defeated Antonio 'Bigfoot' Silva (who is fighting Cain Velasquez for the belt next month) and Josh Barnett who is one of the best heavyweights of the past decade.

The rise of Cormier in this sport has surprised even himself, but what truly separates Cormier from not only Hall, but a lot of fighters is his supreme confidence. All along the way Cormier has thoughtfully responded to questions like would he fight his American Kickboxing Academy teammate Velasquez for the title? (No, he wouldn't). Would he like to fight Jon Jones? (Yes, he would at heavyweight or at light heavyweight). The responses aren't one of arrogance, but of confidence.

Competing at the highest levels of athletics his entire life allows him to know within himself that he is ready and can succeed at anything MMA can throw at him. Thus far, he's proved himself right.

At 5'11, Cormier is a stocky heavyweight, heck, at that height he'd be a stocky welterweight. But his agility and endurance make him a handful to deal with. His build is not lean, but that of a brick shithouse. Bumping shoulders with him would probably be tantamount to brushing past the HP Pavilion itself.

His striking will never be able to match with the elite heavys or 205'ers, but once he is able to get a fighter to the ground, his strength and ability to keep you there is like struggling against quicksand ... you'll only get pulled down deeper.

Of course, there's always something intimidating about going against someone that has no fear. Cormier is certainly one of those guys. It is his confidence, though, that could get in his way.

The seemingly predetermined nature where Cormier will defeat Mir on Saturday sets him up for either a fight for the heavyweight belt, should Velasquez lose, or a drop down to 205 to fight Jones. Leaving the heavyweight division doesn't seem to make a lot of sense. Sure, he doesn't want to fight Velasquez, but in a weak division his star power could be a much needed addition for the UFC - especially since to get there, he would have to put Mir out to pasture as a legitimate contender.

A move to 205 is risky in that Cormier has had weight cutting issues in the past - one instance led to kidney failure and an inability to participate in his second Olympics - and on top of that, fighting Jones is no easy feat. On top of that, Jones' time at 205 appears to be coming to an end before his eventual move to heavyweight. You have to appreciate the doggedness that Cormier is showing, but he might be taking on more than he can - causing a lot more harm than good.

First thing is first though, and as Uriah Hall can let him know - you have to handle your business on fight night before you can take another step forward.

BREAKDOWN

It's certainly possible that Cormier's fight on Saturday won't be his toughest to date. Mir hasn't looked competitive since he broke Big Nog's arm, and since then, well it appears Big Nog shouldn't be fighting anymore. He got a gimme bout against Junior dos Santos and was comically knocked out, and the years are mounting on Mir.

He moved his camp away from Las Vegas to Greg Jackson's camp in Albuquerque, NM to gain better focus and train with some more elite fighters. Jackson has a way of making fighters better, but even his mantras and juju might not be enough for Mir against Cormier.

As noted before, Cormier is an extremely confident fighter. So I'd expect him to want to come out and throw some strikes with Mir. Test the waters and take some joy in his UFC debut. But when the time comes, I expect much of this fight to take place on the ground.

One of the more interesting style match ups I always like to watch is jiu-jitsu vs. wrestling. It's interesting because both styles are set on the ground, and there are some many intricacies to body control and manipulating the right move at the right moment in order to be successful.

Surprising to me is that most of the time, wrestling wins. That's what I expect out of this fight. If Mir can't hang with Cormier on the ground, then this is going to be a quick fight. Mir's opportunity is to capitalize on the ground or surprise Cormier with an overhand right. Which, for Mir, has become his only viable strike in his arsenal.

As I said, I don't view Cormier as arrogant, just confident. He is well prepared and ready to continue his evolution as a complete fighter and move onto his goal of being a UFC champion. While I probably give Mir a better shot than most, I still see Cormier as being too much for the former champ.

Cormier by 2nd Round TKO.