Saturday, December 24, 2011

Slobblog: Tinto - Spanish for Too Little Food

Huh? What about the Borgata? Love it there!

The last Slobfest of 2011 took place at Tinto, Jose Garces' bastard child of previous Slobfest and more famously whole suckling pig Slobfest Amada.

More on Tinto right after I make a reservation at the Rainbow Room for 12pm on a Wednesday.

Tinto, while a small space on Sansom, does provide a nice area for dining. The floor is open, with a side area reserved for a bar. We were comfortably seated for 7 of us. One slob couldn't be in attendance due to holiday duties, but we did bring on our 8th permanent Slobfest member.

It just so happens that this new member was playing me in our fantasy football championship this week and Arian Foster was T-minus 40 minutes from taking on the Colts. I was sure to keep him up to date and talk a little novelty trash. When we departed, Foster had a TD and was averaging 9 YPC (Foster finished with 158 yards and 1 TD). And yes, writing that on a Saturday at 11:15am fully makes me expect to lose in awful fashion.

I was able to stop by the wine bar prior to our seating and it was a comfy, casual feel with mainly Spanish wines, but nothing by the glass that really caught my attention.

While one slob was out at a party, two of the last arrivals were arriving from a marathon outing with a vendor. An outing where clearly alcohol was served.

While I had my own ideas of what tapas items I would have purchased, we all just decided to do the tasting menu that Tinto offered. While I'm usually all in for this, the food at Tinto hasn't been as raved about as Amada, where I did take part in the tasting menu. But I wasn't totally sold one way or the other, so I went along. For the sake of argument, here's what my picks would have been:

Rillette, Pork Belly, Pulpo, and Butifarra

Remnants of the tasting menu apps.
For the record, neither the tasting menu at Tinto or Amada had the pulpo on it. Damn you, Garces! All I want is some damn pulpo in my tasting menu!

The tasting menu started with smaller apps, almonds and olives which weren't big successes with the slobs at the table, but I found them to be very tasty. That said, certainly not slob worthy.

What followed was stronger, there was a cheese and charcuterie plate that impressed. The charcuterie more than the cheese, but it was at that point I realized this is much more of a wine, date, small meal place to go to rather than an opportunity to properly slob out. The quality of food was there, just not the quantity.

The last of the app part was a great duck dish (my favorite of the night), some mussels, prawn, and figs. All very well done, but with one offering per person, just not enough to justify the tasting menu.

After apps, it came to light that two slobs have joined the ranks of those in relationships...with women!

One has been going for several months, which for this slob measures in dog years regarding relationships. She even got him to publicly announce it on Facebook. Unheard of!

Diet Coke, please.

Montanditos - Duck
The other relationship is yet to be officially anointed, yet it's on the boyfriend/girlfriend 1 yard line with William Perry lined up in the backfield and a d-line made up of Taiwanese bike messengers. Needless to say it's basically a done deal.

We always enjoy blossoming relationships as Slobfest is the perfect mile marker for relationships since it happens once a month. Here's an example:

Slob 1: "How long have you been seeing that girl?"
Slob 2: "About 3 Slobfests."
Slob 1: "Wow, that's a nice run."
Slob 2: "Yeah, she probably won't make it past 5 Slobfests."
Slob 1: "Understood."

Then we had a lively argument about the importance of iPod integration in cars over a glass of Garnatxa. Ultimately, I fall on the side of it's more about the car that is driven, rather than the ability to sync an iPod, but I'm a technology guy, so something inside of me would hurt if I wasn't up to date.

Entrees soon arrived, and it was more of the same. Good quality food that didn't pie smash, nut tap, bitch slap you out of your seat, but just wasn't enough. We were hoping the food kept coming, but after a couple forgettable deserts we were settling the bill, which included a 20% gratuity! We all agreed, hey, we usually leave a 20% gratuity, but don't make us leave that amount. The newest Slobfest member made a key contribution by adding a quarter to our tab, so technically the tip was 20.00000000002%. You're welcome stuck up, weirdo beard guy with thick framed glasses.

Sure, help yourself, waiter guy.
With all of us now with some alcohol in it and some members fully intoxicated we were not satisfied. Thankfully there was a Capogiro right next door. We sauntered over to order some gelato, and after a I found our slobs at a table dining on some gelato servings and one calling the girl behind the counter, "Gimli, son of Aldar." I was ordering at the time, so I have absolutely no idea what this came from (I Google searched it, and this is what popped up), but it was said with such disdain that we were all tearing up. Needless to say, our night was over. So other than finding out Mark Sanchez may be dating Kate Upton, it was a great night. So ends another year of Slobfest.

From Slobfest, have a Slobby Holiday Season...Slobs Out.

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114 S. 20th St.
Philadelphia, PA

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