Saturday, May 25, 2013

Looking for a Fight @ UFC 160: Velasquez vs. Bigfoot 2

UFC fans are hoping this sequel is better than the original.

The Hangover Part III was released on Thursday to begrudging enthusiasm. The tepid response and worse reviews are probably no surprise to anyone that witnessed the glee in which people were ready to jump all over The Hangover Part II when it was released in 2011. As the sequel to the 2009 breakout hit The Hangover, Part II was a giant prosthetic dick slap to the face. Watching it in the theater was a completely jarring experience, as Part II is exactly the same move as the original, only set in Thailand. If you haven't seen it for yourself, I cannot express how outwardly lazy and stupid this movie is. Aside from a couple of minor changes you could probably watch these movies side by side and hit the same notes as the movie progresses.

So appalled was I, that the only thing I can think of is that the writers basically said, "Well, we can put out anything with these guys (Bradley Cooper, Zack Galifanakis, and Ed Helms) in it, and it'll make bank, so instead of trying and making a sequel people hate, let's give them a carbon copy of the first movie, then make money on the second, and then we'll see what we can do on the third." I can accept that in the same way that if you teleported me into the life of Nickelback's bassist, I'd live making the worst music ever created if it meant making tens of millions of dollars. Yes, artistic integrity means little to me. Man has got to eat!

Anyway, sequels are a tough thing to pull off. Usually they are just tired remakes that reuse the same jokes (take note Anchorman2!), stories, or beefing up the characters/number of characters from the original. Making multiple sequels for The Hangover, which cost $35 million and made $467 million makes sense. Making a sequel of Velasquez vs. Bigfoot I is a much more difficult situation. That would be like making a sequel to John Carter from Mars. It doesn't make sense.

The first match took place as the co-main event at UFC 146: Dos Santos Vs. Mir. Velasquez was coming off his loss to JDS, where it was revealed Cain was nursing an injury that caused him to weigh in above his normal fight weight of around 240 lbs. (oh yeah, well when JDS lost to Cain, he had muscle fiber breaking down into his blood stream! You've been one-upped.) JDS had an undisclosed knee injury as well, so chalk that up for what it's worth. So Cain was looking to prove some of the doubters that he was the best heavyweight (ever?) on the planet and switched his cyborg mainframe to kill and obliterated Bigfoot Silva.

People weren't exactly banking on a rematch a year later. But Silva made that happen for himself. After enough blood donations, the Brazilian got back into the ring and knocked out Travis Browne and Alistair Overeem. The Overeem KO was a massive upset considering everyone was already pondering an Overeem fight against Cain. Again, how can you not love a sport where a guy like Bigfoot is taken lightly? The guy is 6'4 over 265 lbs. with hands that would put man-hands to shame, and a head that served as the inspiration for Easter Island. He looks like a children's nightmare. Then again, if you look like an in shape Overeem, you're probably used to thinking you can deal with pretty much anyone.

Well, as history tells us, The Reem carried his hands a bit too low, and Bigfoot's big hands tattooed loser across The Reem's face. So, here we are. The sequel to the movie no one wanted to see.

Thankfully, nothing lends itself to rematches like sports, more specifically combat sports.

Although there isn't much doubt as the outcome of the main event on Saturday, there is always a curiosity to see what will go down. If that's not enough to spark your interest, then the UFC did what the UFC does. Put together fights that are sure to be crowd pleasers.

However, in adding the likes of Donald Cerrone, Junior Dos Santos, and crew they put together a lot of potentially explosive fights, but fights that are fairly one-sided. What that means to me is that we should all be expecting an upset or two.

If the UFC can recreate the excitement that was the 146 card, then they'd be in good shape. That card too was headlined by a perceived easy match as JDS fought Mir, and while it was, in total there were 9 finishes including every main event fight. That's some damn exciting stuff.

So with the upset patrol out in full force, I'm going with James Te Hua over Glover Teixiera as my upset pick. But I am looking forward to the whole card, as it should be a pulse pounding one.

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